You just found out that your spouse is cheating. What do you do after infidelity is brought to the forefront of your relationship? Do you forgive and forget or do you kick them to the curb so fast their head spins? Frankly, if it were me, I would pick the latter.
I do not abide being made a fool of, so they would be gone so fast they would not know what hit them. But then what? Where would you be then? All alone with no one to talk to? If you were really in love then I guess the hurt would be completely devastating, and it would take a lot of time to get over. Life could be pretty tough after infidelity.
When you make the decision to kick them to the curb you automatically take control of them and insert yourself back into your life. No more passivity, no more dependence on them for your happiness. Tell them it is over and absolutely refuse to have any contact with them whatsoever. They are no longer worth your time. Tell them if they want to contact you they should talk to your lawyer.
Let the anger you feel be your guide, for now. Do not let it consume you because it will literally eat you up inside, and you will not be good to anyone, especially yourself. So, use the anger effectively to get through the divorce and then learn to let it go. See someone to help if you need to but find a way to let it go.
One good way to vent your anger and other feelings is to start a daily journal. This is a way to track how you are dealing with infidelity. You could even write a letter to your ex and vent all you like. This can be very healing and cleansing. After you write it then just sign it, seal it, and put it away. It is there for you only, they won’t care what you have to say to them. They made their choice, let them live with it.
You may begin to feel some depression over the loss of the relationship and this is completely normal. If it doesn’t start to subside in relatively short order then see your doctor or find a counselor to talk things out with. There are medications you can take in the short term to help with situational depression and help you cope. Don’t be afraid to take these medications they can help and do help thousands of people deal with depression. You can take them until you start to feel better then wean yourself off (with the advice and direction of your doctor that is).
Eventually, you will get to a good place both in your head and in your life where you can be happy and start looking for another relationship. This will take some time though so do not rush things. Stay connected to your feelings by continuing to write in your journal every night before you go to bed. Occasionally read back to when you first started the journal and see how you have changed and grown. You should see a natural progression of feelings and coping mechanisms that get you to where you are now after infidelity.